Quote of the week

Obviously, you develop a certain amount of thick skin, to let the typical teenage stuff about "It's boring," wash off you. But, ultimately, your ego is on the line. Your identity is on the line. What do I do for a living? I'm a teacher. And so if you get negativism or disinterest or hostility form the class, then that's a real blow. That's a comment on my whole being. i don't know if I'm more vulnerable than other people, but I get my self-worth from this job. And if I'm bombing, then I criticize myself...

-Jessica Siegel
from Small Victories by Samuel Freedman

Thoughts on a first week

It is hard to believe that I'm back at school already (a brief five weeks after leaving school early in Turkey), but I am happy to report that I survived my first week of student in my new school. More than that I am realizing why I made the choice to change schools. I wanted a smaller school, which I definitely got as I teach all of the grade 9 and 10 math classes (there is just one other math teacher in the high school, who also happens to be one of my housemates). I wanted the freedom to teach how I wanted and try out some of my crazy ideas. I've tested that freedom (successfully) already...taping down a coordinate system on the auditorium floor to check and see if my students remembered how to plot points, pulling out individual whiteboards to force each of my students to attempt a problem, putting letters up all around my room to test students ability to name lines, planes, and points meeting specific criteria (I can't tell you how often I heard the question, "Miss, why are there letters all over your room?" although they were surprised when I pointed out there were some on the ceiling as well!). I'm not sure if I'll be able to stay as creative but it is nice to know I do have the freedom to do what I want. Now I just need to work on learning those 90 new names.

What happened to yes?

With eagerness they come
Never told "you can't do that"
or "are you struggling?"
Visions of being a basketball playing
trash collecting doctor in their heads
Recalling their parents saying
"You can do anything you set your mind to"

Put in a group of like minded others
energy feeds off of others
and one idea explodes
into group actions

A little later the child is told "calm down"
"This is how I'd like you to do it"
"You're close, but not right"
and suddenly all actions are graded
If I get a B does that mean I'm not good?
Should I stop trying? Let the best do it?

Why do we stifle the eagerness?
Does it matter how good something is
if the person enjoys it?
Who determines what good and great are anyways?

Perhaps the Renaissance man
need to be re-embraced
with an emphasis on
anyone can do anything...or everything
as long as they will just say
"Yes, I can."

Endings are just new beginnings

An ending is just a new beginning
It is hard to believe that I am writing my last note from Turkey…or perhaps I should say about Turkey as I am no longer there and have actually been gone for a month now. There are so many things that I still wanted to share with you, stories about the crazy wedding dress windows, my love/hate relationship with the airport close to school, the little princes preparing for their circumcision, the giant boots I found on campus….sadly it seems that those are stories which will remain untold. And so I will end my three years of messages with a list of some of the things that I will miss about living in Turkey.
10. Being able to pick up a grilled cheese sandwich from a small kiosk on the side of the road.
9. The goldfish guy on the road leading away from school, stacked up on the hood of his car shaded by an umbrella recently.
8. The large Trojan horse on campus…I still don’t understand why this needs to be in a playground, but it always makes me smile.
7. The crazy things that people sell on the road or the sidewalk…gummy supermen that flip down a wall, wind up chicks, chargers, blow up dalmatians,…I think if you watched long enough you could find almost anything.
6. Being able to surprise people because I can actually speak some Turkish. It doesn’t take must at all to impress the Turks…after all Turkish isn’t what you’d exactly call a common language.
5. The skyline, there is something about all of the minarets that just makes Istanbul seem like such an exotic place. It will take quite a bit to beat that.
4. Browsing the fruit and vegetable market in Kurtkoy, soaking up the cacophony of sounds and colors. It was a sad day when I realized it would be my last visit.
3. Walking downtown during the call to prayer and finding that as soon as I leave the sound of one mosque I enter the audible area for two more.
2. Riding the ferry across the Bosphorus. After three years this is still one of my favorite things to do.
1. The people of course. Friends and coworkers and strangers who are always willing to lend a helping hand and aid in whatever way they can, whether that means answering endless questions, telling me where to get off a bus, or just keeping me company in stressful times. I will dearly miss them all.

Quote of the week

A traveler's life is one that includes much pain amidst its enjoyments. His feelings are forever on the stretch; and when he begins to sink into repose, he finds himself obliged to quit that on which he rests in pleasure for something new, which again engages his attention, and which also he forsakes for other novelties.

-Mary Shelley, Frankenstein

A woman's touch

the niche
Originally uploaded by ccarlstead

A few weeks ago a friend sent me the following link to an article: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7636142.stm I was intrigued by the idea of seeing the first mosque in Turkey to be designed by a woman and one day when I had an extra hour to kill I set of to see it. A brief ten minute bus ride took me to Uskudar. I was a bit worried about knowing where to get off the bus, a consistent worry of mine whenever I am trying to find somewhere new by bus, but I needn’t have worried. As I stared out the window a mosque set just off the road came into view, with a wrought iron entrance. This had to be the Sakirin Mosque. Of course I wasn’t quite quick enough to get the bus to stop right outside the gate, but it was only a short walk back down the hill. My initial impression was one of smooth lines, open space and clean walls (so many of the mosques in Istanbul are so old the walls have taken on a distinctly grey color). Wandering around the outside of the mosque (prayer had just finished so my friend and I wanted to give a bit of time for it to empty out) I caught a glimpse of a painted ceiling through the double layered windows of the dome. I couldn’t wait to get a good look at it. I was fascinated from the moment we entered the courtyard. There you find a metal dome fountain which reflects a 180 degree view of the angle you are looking from. A lovely scene through the watery layer. Take off your shoes and step into the cool interior, joining the stream of curious Turks. The inside has a decidedly different feel to it. If I had to sum it up in one word I would say modern. The mihrab (niche) was not at all what I am used to – simply an upside down half blue green half moon set into the wall. Off center glass chandeliers add sparkle to the light. And of course the ceiling reflects the proud tradition of this region. All in all it left me with a sense of space, openness and gentle welcoming. What a fascinating testament to how a woman can provide a different interpretation to the traditional.

shared by a friend

One of my friends just shared this with me. It hit home and thought others might appreciate it.

liralovebhateurodollar
by Molly Davis

how much does a memory cost?
what is currency worth when you're searching adventure?
where do we go next?
does it really matter if we get lost?

they all ask: why risk the pain of leaving well enough alone and good enough behind?

i answer:
because i want to explore why the earth sits securely under some while it rotates madly around others.
because i want to feel the moon shining on the other side of the globe.
because i want to see if the stars twinkle just as brightly there as they do outside the back porch door.
because i want to see if i'm the same person in each time zone.
because i want to find the treasures hidden for me throughout the world.

then i tell them: nothing you cherish is ever really lost, so really, why do you risk the regret of 'why not'?

istanbul, december 2006